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Curves Ahead!
Surviving – and Helping – Your Preteen's Body Image
By Sue Marquette Poremba
On her 10th birthday, my daughter asked me why her chest was flat. All of her friends, she complained, were wearing bras because they needed them. She wondered if something was wrong with her.
Telling her that she was normal and that everyone was different wasn't going to be an answer that made her feel better. So I pointed at myself and told her that I started developing at age 11 and was done by age 12, whereas my sister was "flat as a board" until she was 16. My daughter pictured her beloved aunt's well-endowed bosom and said, "I can wait."
I was lucky. I had an example to share that my daughter immediately connected with. It hasn't been so easy with my son, who wanted to know why he was so much skinnier than his friends and why he wasn't growing as tall. Telling him that he was one of the youngest in his class and that he'd grow in his own good time didn't help.
If the preteen years weren't difficult enough with the hormonal, social and educational changes, children are physically developing earlier than ever before. Boys see that their bodies differ from one another on the soccer field. Girls see that their bodies are filling out today's fashions differently – and sometimes less amply – than their peers. It doesn't matter which end of the development scale your child is on; more than likely, a preteen won't feel comfortable looking different.
"Parents need to explain to their kids that diversity is a part of life and that we are all different shapes," says Mimi Nichter, associate professor of anthropology at the University of Arizona. However, it helps if the parents have a better understanding of the body changes their children are going through.
