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Home › Articles › Communication › Dog Doo To Do

Dog Doo To Do

An excerpt from: Hidden Messages: What Our Words and Actions Are Really Telling Our Children

By Elizabeth Pantley

Pages:  1  2  3  4  

Changes You Can Make
You can avoid falling into the nagging trap. Simply follow this four-step process: Think, Tell, Warn, Act

Think. Before you ask your child to do something, think about exactly what you want, when you want it done, and how your child should proceed. Be clear about your purpose.

Tell. Once you're certain about what you want, tell your child. Be specific. Avoid any phrase that makes your request sound optional. For example, "Melody, I would like the dog doo picked up before we sit down to dinner at 6:00."

Warn. If the deadline looms and the requested task has not been completed, let your child know that you are aware of this, and remind her to get the job done. "Melody, dinner will be ready in ten minutes. You are to pick up the dog doo before we eat."

Act. If the deadline has been reached and the task has not been performed, you have a wide variety of options that all come under the heading "Act."

  • A) You could nudge your child in the right direction either with physical help (Put the shovel and bucket in her hand and guide her out to the yard.)
  • B) You could use a when-then statement ("Melody, I'll be eating my dinner in the kitchen. When you have picked up the dog doo, then you may join me.")
  • C) You might follow through with a consequence ("Melody, since you did't do as I asked, you'll be staying home after dinner instead of going to your friend's house as you had planned.)

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