- my iParenting
- quick clicks
- preteenagers today articles
- preteenagers today q&a
- teenagers today articles
- teenagers today q&a
- message boards
- research baby names
- prepare a birth plan
- content channels
- ip channel rss feeds
- read birth stories
- read parenting stories
- recommended books
- e-newsletters
- safety recalls
- ip diaries
- ip store
- mom of the month
- dad of the month
- editor's letter
- letters to the editor
From Our Sponsors
 |
- e-newsletters
- Sign up to receive our free weekly e-newsletters
- award-winning products
The iParenting Media Awards program helps parents find the best products for their families.
Sibling Rivalry
What to Do When the Kids Are Fighting
All brothers and sisters fight and call each other names. It is called sibling rivalry. For parents, it can be a time when it is not pleasant to be around their children.
Dr. Vernon Wiehe, a researcher in family relationships and a professor in the College of Social Work at the University of Kentucky, in his new book for parents entitled What Parents Need to Know About Sibling Abuse, warns that sibling rivalry can get out of control and become sibling abuse. He suggests parents can intervene in sibling rivalry that is in danger of getting out of control by implementing a family conference using the acronym SAFE.
"S" Stands for STOP the Action.
When brothers and sisters are engaged in hitting, slapping, pushing or name-calling, parents should stop the behavior. Children might be asked to go to their own rooms or do something alone for a period of time. If the behavior reoccurs, parents should mention the need for a family discussion. After dinner or before watching TV in the evening is one time to sit down together as a family to talk about the behavior and to consider alternatives.
"A" Stands for ASSESS What Is Happening.
The first things to assess in the family meeting are the facts and feelings about what happens just prior to the siblings becoming embroiled in conflict. All siblings involved should be included in telling what happened and how they were feeling at the time and after the conflict. After a highly emotionally-charged altercation between siblings, children often project blame or put responsibility onto the other sibling when confronted. They may protest, for example: "Tommy hit me," or "Alicia called me a name."
