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Home › Articles › Independence › Slowly Letting Go

Slowly Letting Go

Granting Preteens Their Freedom

By Jennifer Nelson

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Preteens are going online more than ever today. But don't neglect to speak with them about online safety issues. It's important that parents and kids are on the same channel when it comes to online activities. Discuss when kids can go online, how long they can stay online and what activities they can do while surfing the 'net.

Teach them that the 'net is a public forum. They should never post anything private that they wouldn't want the public to know. They should never give out their full name, school or any other information that reveals their identity. Preteens should never have an in-person meeting with someone they meet online. This is the biggest danger to kids' safety on the 'net. They can never be certain if people met online are who they say they are. And finally, teach preteens to never respond to e-mail or chat room messages that are inappropriate, obscene or in any way make them feel uncomfortable. "In reasonable doses, exploring the Internet is fine. Like any sort of entertainment, however, it can get out of hand," says Steinberg.

Establishing guidelines for behavior and activities will lay groundwork upon which preteens can build a structured and safe future. This will also lead to a smooth transition when the dating becomes one-on-one, and the activities progress from after-school dances to prom nights and limos. Parents must draw a fine line between granting freedoms and imparting autonomy, while still being present to provide input and information. Guiding and preparing preteens for the more serious issues to come is one of the biggest challenges parents face

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