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Growing Confidence
Silvana Clark Answers Questions About Her New Book
Parent-Tested Ways to Grow Your Child's Confidence
Q: What gave you the idea to write a book about raising children's self-confidence?
SC: Many years ago, I ran an after-school activity center for at-risk teens. I was struck with the fact that all they wanted to do was play pool and foosball. I soon learned it was because that's all they knew how to do. Very few had hobbies or experiences in travel or meeting people. They were scared (although they'd never admit it) to take risks or try something new. It was obvious these teens lacked self-confidence.
Later, when I taught preschool, I had many 3- and 4-year-olds come to class and say, "I can't paint a picture," "I can't climb the slide." It became my goal to help these children feel confident in themselves and their abilities.
Q: How can parents help children develop self-confidence?
SC: The first step is for parents to be positive role models. How often as adults do we say, "I'll never be able to make that presentation next week," "I wish I knew how to use a computer. I'll never learn." Children need to see parents with a can-do attitude. They gain coping skills by hearing parents say, "The boss asked me to give a PowerPoint presentation next week. I've never done it, but I found this great magazine article that has some tips. I'll give it a try."
Parents can comment on small successes. If a toddler puts her shoes on, that's a chance to praise your child. Wait a few minutes before you mention the shoes are on the wrong feet! As children get older, compliment them on their choice of friends, the way they walk the dog or help a sister read a book.
