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Growing Confidence
Silvana Clark Answers Questions About Her New Book
Parent-Tested Ways to Grow Your Child's Confidence
Q: Is there a problem with children getting too much praise?
SC: Actually, yes. I've seen parents ooh and aah over everything their children did. It doesn't take long for children to have an unrealistic picture of themselves if their parents exclaim, "That's the greatest painting in the whole world!" over every scribbled drawing. Be realistic. Comment on the wide variety of colors they used in the picture. Ask them to tell you about the picture. Just the fact that you take time to listen to them develops self-confidence. Children with self-confidence are just that – confident – which is different from cocky or pompous.
Q: What other tips do you have to help children develop self-confidence?
SC: Let children make mistakes, keeping safety in mind, of course. Parents often step in to make sure their child always succeeds. I remember when my daughter was 10 and studying a unit on the desert. She was supposed to come to school dressed in loose, white, flowing robes and headgear on Wednesday. Tuesday morning she dressed up in her desert outfit, insisting it was the correct day. She ignored my suggestion to read the notice in her notebook about the correct day. So she went to school dressed as an Arabian princess, while her friends wore jeans and T-shirts. From that point, she made sure to check dates and times of special events. Children need to see natural consequences of their actions so they learn to make correct decisions.
