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Playing With Words
The Unsavory Art of Swearing
By Carma Haley Shoemaker
On the other hand, the use of swearing may not only cause difficulty for the child but also for the parents themselves.
"I don't use foul language, but my husband does," says Crystal Cook of Knoxville, Tenn. "I've asked my husband to please not use that language at home, around the kids, but he gets so upset while watching sporting events, or when a problem arises at home, that he can't seem to hold them in. He works and golfs with some men that don't have children, and their language is almost a continuous stream of curse words. He usually says, 'I'm a grown man and I'll talk like I want to. When the kids grow up, then if they want to use cuss words, they can.' It's a real trouble spot for us."
In situations where swearing causes problems between parents as well as the children, it is best for the parents to work this out, says O'Connor.
"Parents have to recognize you have a certain obligation to raise your kids properly," he says. "And they also have to realize that they have a relationship with their spouse, which they want to work. Marriage takes work. Perhaps parents can make a trade off. If one parent doesn't like the other swearing, let them know and offer to make an effort to 'fix' a habit or a trait that they have in exchange. Both parents trying is not only healthy but also the smart and easiest way to come to a compromise."
Parents do not intend to teach their children to swearbut at times, it happens. In the event that a child learns and uses swear words, regardless of age, parents should take the time to discuss, simply and basically, why these types of words are not appropriate for children to use, O'Connor says.
