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Inside The Mind of A Bully

An Interview

By Donna Smith

Q. I'm sure you're a great guy now!

Troy: I don't know. I'd like to think I am, but I am still a martial artist. I never fight now, and walk away from fights. I am a college graduate and a scientist working at a prominent biotechnology firm, but it seems I have this "look" that says, "bring it on!"

Q. What makes you walk away from fights now?

Troy: Fortunately, my mind and my respect for peace and "good vibes" have grown as well. I am told more often than not that I am a great guy, but I always say that it's because there was a time not so long ago that I really, really wasn't.

Q. How was you home life growing up?

Troy: I had a very tough dad. Not necessarily the most abusive, but very masculine -- or what I learned later was a facade of masculinity. I was the youngest in my family and had two older brothers who terrorized me. Sound familiar? I lacked respect in myself and projected this onto people I felt were like me.

Q. Anything you would like to add?

Troy: You know what? Part of the reason I'm not a bully any more and am more spiritual is the fact that I did realize eventually that my father and brothers really weren't the manly men I thought they were. I realized upon leaving home that the way they treated their woman and themselves was very disrespectful and not manly at all. Things such as honor and integrity is what makes a man a man. I believed I changed when I realized that. Also, I realized that people started liking me more and I liked myself more when I use my mind and not my fists.