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On the Move
Helping Children Adjust to Moving and Relocation
By Carma Haley
"With younger kids it's not a good idea to tell them about the move until it is sure that the move will be happening and the decision is fully made," says Shari Steiner, co-author of the Steiner's Complete How to Move Handbook (IIP Consumer, 1999).
"To a younger child, usually the age of 6 and under, it is very scary to them that they will no longer have their neighborhood friends, their house, their yard or their daycare or school," Steiner says. "It's not a good idea to talk about a possibility of moving because they get scared. You can't give them an idea on the new house because you haven't found it yet and you can't sell them on the idea of a new neighborhood or school because a move is not yet certain."
So when should a parent tell their children about moving or relocation? According to Steiner, a child should be informed once a move has been decided, but only if the parent feels they are equipped to handle the situation.
"It always works best to let the children know as soon as the move is pretty certain," Steiner says. "It's not a good idea to scare kids with uncertainty. However, it does depend upon the age of the children and what kind of personality they have, as each child will react differently to change at different periods of their life. Where one child can handle the possibility of a move, another may not be equipped to handle the uncertainty and may act out emotionally or become overly stressed."
There are various tips and techniques that parents can follow that will equip them with ways of minimizing the stress or sadness that children often feel when relocating.
