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The Value of Friendship
By Tara Swords
Thomas Berndt, professor of psychology at Purdue University, says what forms childhood friendships is "a similarity in social circumstances: living in the same neighborhood, riding the same bus. If those circumstances change, so do the friendships. From the ages of 5 through 10, I think the best estimate we have for the stability of friendships is that they last – on the average – a few months."
So Joelle and I weren't typical. In fact, after that first ride around the block, almost every part of my childhood involved Joelle. We played outside every night after school, attempting to perfect cartwheels and backflips until our mothers called us in at dark. We choreographed dances to all the best WHAM! songs and became masters of the swingset in her backyard. We conducted a solemn wedding ceremony for two of her teddy bears and spied on the neighborhood boys as they played outside.
Yet we were different – at least in the ways that might keep some children from becoming friends. We attended different elementary schools; Joelle, a St. Mary's Falcon, and I, a Metamora Redbird, were cross-town rivals by day. She was quiet and shy; I often talked too much and, according to my exasperated grandmother, was "too rambunctious." Joelle was small and petite and a bit serious, with freckles that made adults coo over her cuteness. I was always a bit tall and lanky for my age, and called a "show-off" on more than one occasion.
We had some ferocious fights. Joelle's mother watched out for me during the summer when school was out and both my parents were at work, and if we got into an argument, I would run into my empty house and lock the door. Joelle and her little brother would gleefully ring our doorbell until the battery died or the circuit shorted – whichever happened first. Yet there was always an unstated understanding between us that we were friends
