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Overscheduled?
Detect and Prevent Burnout in Your Child
By Amy Henry
The key word in sorting out a busy child's schedule is balance. The AAP advises that a child's well-being depends on living fully in the present as well as preparing for the future. Balance is achieved through a blend of "[unstructured] play, child-centered organized activities and rich parent-child interaction."
In deciding how much and what to cut back, Gulick suggests parents introduce the dilemma. "Say, for example, 'You're signed up for five different activities and it just isn't working. You're tired, you're irritable. Let's cut this down to three activities at any one time." Then let the child do the choosing.
A good question to ask is What is the activity's real purpose? If it's because "everyone else is doing it," are the social benefits enough to offset the loss of free time? If an activity serves simply to give a working parent cover, consider home childcare for at least a few of these afternoons. The cost may be equal, the child gets some "down time," and you'll avoid pick-up duties at the end of the work day.
Another relevant question: Does the child truly enjoy the activity now? The ballerina, who loved The Nutcracker and wore her pink tutu to bed at 6, may be more interested in guitar than toe shoes at 10. Kids' passions change. Sometimes it's best to move on.
Make a time table with your child of all regular activities he or she engages in each week. Show the hours from waking to bedtime, and use different colored pencils to block in each activity. Start with the "big one": school. Then add dinner, homework and chores. At this point, it's easy to see if soccer practice swallows 90 minutes weekdays, with games on the weekends, in addition to swimming, karate and cello lessons – well, something's got to give.
Once you've agreed on a livable schedule, monitor the list of activities monthly to prevent overload from creeping back in. A good rule is that for every new activity the child wishes to add, one must be subtracted, Gulick says.
