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Overscheduled?
Detect and Prevent Burnout in Your Child
By Amy Henry
More free time sounds like heaven, but, as Nugent points out, children used to having their every waking hour scheduled may not have a clue how to structure things for themselves. They're expecting adults to organize their world for them. The best way to help kids realize the joys of unstructured time is for parents to model it, both in their own lives and with their child, Gulick says.
Shea advises parents to get the kids outdoors – and go out with them. "In my neighborhood, we go outside in all weather," he says. "We roll around in the grass or rake leaves and lie in them." Doors up and down the street start opening and, soon, other kids are joining in and their parents are stopping by to talk.
In our multi-tasking culture, we may be haunted by the fear that unstructured time is wasted time. But "downtime" is when families connect, friendships take root and kids have the opportunity for independent play and self-generated projects. Some of the best interactions occur, the AAP report states, when parents and kids are just hanging out together – talking, cooking, sharing a hobby, tossing a ball. Nugent stresses the value of sharing family meals. "It's a quiet time, a safe time when families can talk together," he says.
Making the shift away from external pressures and tuning in to what feels right for your child and your family takes effort and practice. "I'm finding it tricky," Shea says. "I feel pressured, but I'm trying to listen to my own inner cues. Asking myself, are we only doing this activity because everyone else it doing it?"
