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Puberty Primer
What to Expect and
When to Expect It
When to Expect It
By Valerie K. O'Berry
"Thank God we both survived it," she says.
Fortunately, she is in the minority. Only about 15 percent of adolescents rebel.
"Most kids do what they are told for the most part: They go to school, try to achieve and have a life," Nicholson says. "Of course, this doesn't mean that there won't be problems."
Preteens will experience feelings such as insecurity and being out of place. They may be embarrassed to be seen with their parents because they are trying to separate from them and become an individual. Parents, on the other hand, may feel a loss of control as they watch their preteens become more and more involved with their peers and begin to value friends more.
"Their task is to separate from their parents and join society," Nicholson says. "When they are trying to do this task, they have a parent telling them 'Now, brush your teeth,' and they feel like they will never achieve independence, which is scary to them."
There are ways that parents can guide their children through this difficult time. First, know what to expect. Realize that your preteen may have mood swings, will want to hang out with his friends and may be embarrassed to be with you. If your child wants privacy, respect that wish. This can include a diary and drawers that are off limits.
"If the child expresses a need for modesty, privacy should be allowed," Nicholson says. "However, if there is a proven problem such as drugs, suicidal tendencies or illegal activities, privacy is out the window ad anything is fair game."
Want to see more?
- Growing up Too Fast: Helping Your Preteen Transition from Child to Adult
- Parenting Preteenagers: Handling the Common Crises of Preadolescence
- When Your Preteen Sings the Blues
- Curves Ahead! Surviving – and Helping – Your Preteen's Body Image
- Smelly Boys: Teaching Young Boys Good Hygiene Habits
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