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Washed Out!
Preteens and Hygiene
By Teri Brown
Preteens are a blast to have around. Caught between childhood and the teen years, they are usually articulate, bright and still affectionate toward their family. Despite all that good, there is a dark side: cleanliness.
The most frustrating thing about preteens may be their hit-and-miss approach to personal hygiene. They think nothing of heading out to school with their hair styles perfect and their teeth unbrushed. They will go weeks showering every day, and then suddenly you have to fight to get them to wash their hands and faces.
As the mother of four, Heidi Shelton-Jenck of Sandy, Utah, understands that frustration all too well. Getting her two preteen sons to shower is an ongoing battle. "Neither of my boys cares much for showers or brushing their teeth," she says. "They take one every other night, but when it's the night for a shower, they try very hard to convince me that they just took one the night before."
Shelton-Jenck has the same problem with their hair. "My 11-year-old decided this year to grow his hair long," she says. "We got a '70s shag-type cut. All he has to do is get it wet with the spray bottle and shake it to make it look OK. He has to be reminded every day to do that before he goes to school!"
Dr. Virginia Shiller, a licensed clinical psychologist in New Haven, Conn., and the author of Rewards for Kids! Ready-to-Use Charts & Activities for Positive Parenting (American Psychological Association, 2003), believes that many preteens are simply not developmentally ready to be consistent in their grooming habits. "Many preteens are not yet focused on physical appearance (in some ways parents should perhaps be grateful about this; come adolescence, they will obsessively shower and groom!), nor do they appreciate the health implications of good hygiene," she says. "Other things simply assume higher priority. And if they're in the middle of an activity, they resent being interrupted for something they see as the parent's whim."