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Home › Articles › Safety › Empowerment Strategies for Kids Who Are Picked On

Empowerment Strategies for Kids Who Are Picked On

An Excerpt From The Kids' Guide to Working Out Conflicts

By Naomi Drew, M.A.

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According to the National Education Association, an estimated 160,000 kids a day skip school for fear of the way they will be treated by their peers. Many kids dread leaving the house because of constant harassment. If your child is one them, please share the following excerpt from the book, The Kids' Guide to Working Out Conflicts: How to Keep Cool, Stay Safe, and Get Along (Free Spirit Pub., 2004).

Know That You Have Worth
Kids who are bullied tend to think they're being picked on because there's something wrong with them. This is absolutely not true. People who bully are looking for an available target, so they latch on to the next convenient person they feel they can have power over. You just happen to be that person, and when it isn't you, it's going to be someone else. So if you're feeling that the bullying is somehow your fault, let go of that idea. It's not your fault. No one deserves to be bullied. Period.

Too often kids who are bullied keep the problem inside because they feel embarrassed or ashamed. Doing this only makes it worse. Shame and silence can make you forget the power you have inside. Always remember that you have worth and value. You don't have to be thin, cool, smart, white, black, well-dressed, free of handicaps or good in sports to be worthy of respect. Your uniqueness is what makes you special.

Unfortunately there are too many kids who believe that the only way to be popular is to dress, talk, eat, act and look like everyone else. Well, they've got it backward. The most interesting people in life are the ones who don't fit into any particular mold. So know that you don't have to let anyone else's words or actions make you feel less than you are.

Prepare Yourself
Working on your self-esteem and self-confidence will help you deal with bullying from a place of strength. And being strong outside is as important as feeling strong inside. You can prepare yourself to deal with bullying so you're able to take strong, smart action when it happens.

Have you ever heard the saying "There's strength in numbers"? People who bully often look for kids who are alone. By finding people to hang out with, you can help keep yourself from being approached by a bully in the first place. Another strong move is to rehearse ways to respond to bullying. It's hard to think of what to say on the spot when someone's being mean to you. Practicing ahead of time, in front of a mirror or with another person, really helps.


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