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Comedy or Immaturity?
How and Why Boys Use Humor to Communicate
By Gina Roberts-Grey
Making a light-hearted, silly remark about a friend spilling juice on his shirt might be funny. Dwelling on the topic to the point of making another child feel badly in the name of getting a laugh can border on bullying. Imitating someone's walk, speech pattern or mannerisms can create hurt feelings, resentment and animosity. "It is important that boys be encouraged to express themselves while also learning when to exercise kindness and personal restraint," says Parrish.
Tempering the HumorInstilling the value of good judgment and well-timed humor will be beneficial as your son matures. Guiding him to keep his humor free of hurtful remarks or in line with his surroundings will help him continue to navigate through social situations without hurting anyone's feelings or overstepping his boundaries. "Many boys do not realize they've carried a joke too far or crossed the line from funny to annoying," says Parrish. Unfortunately, a boy often learns this lesson when a friend or sibling retorts in anger, hurting the jokester's feelings or leaving him feeling embarrassed and confused.
Talk with your child to explain the difference between a cute comment or a funny joke and a hurtful remark or excessive humor. Offering constructive examples that allow room for him to exhibit some of his humorous tendencies will guide your son toward positive communication and use of his humor. Knowing how to judge his audience, to discern when he's on the verge of hurting someone's feelings or taking humor too far, and when his humor is the perfect complement to a situation, further boosts a boy's self-confidence.