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Do You Like Me?
Encourage Social Inclusion for Preteens with Special Needs
By Teri Brown
It's hard to be a preteen – especially one with special needs.
The challenges that preteens with disabilities experience are related to both the characteristics of their disabilities and the lack of opportunities they typically have to observe ongoing interactions between peers without disabilities, believes Dr. Brian Abery, a researcher and the Coordinator of School Age Services for the Institute on Community Integration at the University of Minnesota.
The following tips, offered by Dr. Abery will empower parents to smooth the path for their preteen's social inclusion:
1. Introduce your child to the community and others in it as soon as possible.
Parents who have children with disabilities need to make a special effort to get their child out into the community. Yes, this takes additional effort, but introducing your child to the clerk at the corner store, to the person who cuts your hair, to neighbors and friends, as well as other children begins to open up a social environment for the child.
It will also likely result in people asking questions of you. Some of these may be appropriate; others may seem insensitive. Try to answer each as well as you are able, keeping in mind that each time this occurs, it provides you with an opportunity to debunk myths and misconceptions that others may hold of your child and others with disabilities.
2. Allow your child to take some risks.
Developing social relationships is a risky process for anyone with or without a disability. At times we reach out to others and they do not return the hand of friendship. If one doesn't try, however, social relationships are not possible. In addition, as children grow older some of the activities they enjoy and which will potentially provide the opportunity for the development of friendships may seem risky. One needs to balance the risks children are allowed to take with the possible positive benefits that may accrue from such activities. A sprained wrist, for example, that might occur when skateboarding is a small price to pay for the development of a lasting friendship.