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The Power of Bonding
It's Not Just for Babies Anymore
By Kelly Burgess
Sometimes we just have to use our intuition to keep those lines of communication open. If your preteen is in a foul mood, that's probably not the best time to talk about their messy room. Find your moments. Dolly Kelly of Deep Creek, Md., always found that the car was the best place to have a heart-to-heart with her three children.
"With us all so busy and so many distractions at home, the car is always a quiet place where the only thing to focus on is each other," she says. "It just seems conducive to bringing up difficult topics, because you don't have to make that eye contact, and there just seems to be less uncomfortable squirming when discussing a touchy subject."
Just as when they are very young, parents need to take an interest in what interests their middle-school-aged child. While it may have been cute to take them to their very first Sesame Street or Blue's Clues stage show, taking them to their first concert can have its own rewards. Also, try getting interested in whatever the fad of the moment is.
Sagarese, who ghostwrote a New York Times bestseller on Backstreet Boy Nick Carter, got involved in the subject of the life of a teen idol because of her daughter's interest.
"I had so much fun with my daughter, because everything she became interested in I became interested in," she says. "You can think their new interests are dumb, but if you get involved you never know where it might take you."