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Danny the Disrespectful Kid
An Excerpt
By Elizabeth Pantley
Let your child know what you're up to. Admit that you have allowed his behavior to get out of control, but that it stops, and it stops today. Discuss your expectations, and make yourself perfectly clear. "I expect you to be polite and respectful to me and your dad every single time you talk to us."
Once you've established clear expectations and pleasantly corrected him for a week to two, you can take the next step. Make a list of your child's privileges – freedom to use the TV, the telephone and his bicycle, for example. The list can include dessert, car rides to friends' homes, visits to and from friends, etc. (The list is endless.) Number the privileges on the list, and cross off items with each offense. The key is to then follow through with removal of privileges for the remainder of that week. Start each week with a fresh list and a fresh start.
Another reason to get a kid like Danny on the right track: he may be acting tough on the outside, but on the inside he's struggling with the knowledge that he really shouldn't be treating people, especially his parents, in such rude ways. Most kids know that what they are doing is wrong, and they may wonder why no one is correcting them. Over time, this voice of conscience will fade, and the child will accept the rude demeanor as normal.
One final but extremely important point: make certain that YOU are using your best manners when you talk to your child. "Do what I say, not what I do" is simply not an effective parenting philosophy. Your actions as an appropriate role model are imperative to correcting this undesirable behavior.