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Home › Articles › General › Down in the Dumps

Down in the Dumps

Dealing With Childhood Depression

By Ginny Hermann

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The Moores participated in a grief recovery class to learn to manage their grief and provide assistance and guidance for their children. "We went to special events where a bunch of grieving people gathered to remember their loved ones," she says. "This showed the kids that their sister will never be forgotten. We also picked a favorite color, yellow, to symbolize their sister. When we see yellow flowers while out on family outings, one of us makes a comment about how God let her stop by to spend some time with us."

Here are some additional ways you can help your child deal with depressive issues:

  • Teach positive communication. Young children don't often have the vocabulary to effectively express feelings of anger and confusion. Give your child the words she needs to help her share her feelings.
  • Get your child to talk about it. Provide your child with a safe adult to share his feelings with. Every child should have someone to go to for comfort and guidance, whether it's a parent, teacher, counselor or family friend.
  • Keep your child active. Sports and physical activities are good outlets for pent-up anger.
  • Use art as communication. Acting, painting, drawing, dancing and other creative arts offer excellent opportunities to get feelings out and express grief.
  • Read books. Many parents use bibliotherapy the process of reading books to help a child identify with others as a way to put the child in another's place. Epstein suggests The Dinosaur Series by Laurie Krasney Brown and similar books to help prepare for or deal with an unsettling event or situation.

Above all, be honest with your child. "Trust is the key to helping children get through a rough patch," says Epstein. "Children are excellent perceivers of environment. Whatever we withhold from our children in the name of protection, they will supplant with fantasies that are usually 10 times worse than what is really happening. If a child is old enough to ask a question, she is old enough to get an honest answer."

By being honest, parents are telling their children that they are worthy of the truth and are important enough to be trusted, thus sending the message that the parent is trustworthy as well. When a parent and child suffer a loss together, as in the Moores' case, the family bond grows tighter. "Cry with your children," says Epstein. "Let your children see you cry. Model for them, and show them that it's OK to feel bad sometimes."

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