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Mama's Boy?
The Key to Understanding Your Emotional Son
By Gwen Morrison
According to Dr. Slater, the key is to "use" one's sensitivity and not wear it on one's sleeve where it can be perceived as a sign of weakness. "That is something we must teach our children," he says. "Parents should avoid 'shielding' a sensitive boy and expose him gradually to situations where he is stressed, even if he resists."
In this way, the child's coping skills have a chance to improve. Dr. Slater suggests that although he encourages opening your sensitive child up to new situations, he does not at all advocate pushing a child to do something that they do not have any talent for, as in a particular sport or activity that requires true skill. Certain experiences, like sleepover camps, can help foster a child's sense of independence. A little "push" won't hurt.
"My son was never into sports at all like some of his friends," Elliot says. "I never pushed him too far but did encourage him to take a chance. He is always so afraid of what others will think of him. It's sometimes debilitating."
Parents have to be sensitive to the signs that their son is struggling with issues because of his sensitivity. No child likes to feel like the "odd man out." Encourage your child to try new things, but explain to him that he doesn't have to be perfect at everything. Tell him it's OK if he is not great at baseball; focus on his strengths to build his self-esteem as he matures.
"Involve your child in experiences such as something like martial arts, where he can learn to harness his sensitivity without it compromising function of performance," Dr. Slater says. "This type of activity boosts a boy's confidence, assertiveness and self-esteem as well as teaching self-defense skills and coping skills for situations where he might be bullied."