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Nasty Girls
Nipping Gossip in the Bud
By Laura Paul
As the president of the Empower Program, Wiseman helps to train teachers, administrators and counselors to implement their "Owning Up" curricula. They reach about 7000 boys and girls every year. Wiseman says in her 12 years working with teenagers, she has found girls learn to please other girls and in doing so will sacrifice what is best for themselves.
"Girls and then women learn to please other girls because they don't want them turning on them," Wiseman says. "It has been similar in every generation. Right now, e-mail is the weapon of choice and parents must set rules for social codes of conduct on e-mail."
Shanterra McBride of Silver Springs, Md., the director of education and programs for the Empower Program, says much of the gossip ricochets off people of different cliques. She says the nature and power of cliques has changed.
"When I was a teen back in 1988, cliques were more about what you did," she says. She remembers cliques in her school were made up of cheerleaders, members of the dance team, skaters (girls who skate-boarded or dated guys who did), ropers (girls who wore roper boots and were into cowboy attire) and punks (girls with purple and yellow hair). "Today's cliques seem to be about who has what as far as socio-economics and popularity," McBride says.
Parents should respect their teenager's privacy, right? When it comes to preventing self-injury, gossip or physical violence toward another, parents need to step up to the plate and be the parent, not the friend.
"A lot of parents get confused with the friend, privacy and snoop role," McBride says. "Yes, your teen should be able to talk to yu about anything and trust that you're open to dialogue, hence a friend. The privacy issue I know is important because youth need privacy; however, privacy has become overrated." She says parents need to get involved at ground level.