728x90
my iParenting
From Our Sponsors
e-newsletters
Sign up to receive our free weekly e-newsletters

new terms of use
new privacy policy
award-winning products
The iParenting Media Awards program helps parents find the best products for their families.
Home › Articles › General › Nothing to Talk About

Nothing to Talk About

Helping Your Shy Child

By Anat Cohen

Pages:  1  2  3  4  

Bernardo Carducci, Ph.D., director of the Shyness Research Center at Indiana University and the author of the book Shyness: A Bold New Approach (Perennial Press, April 2000) advises taking the following strategies:

  • Teach your kid to take it one step at a time. Spur him to start with small parties or events that include only two to three participants. If this is too much for his current ability, he can start meeting privately with class members that he perceives as less threatening.
  • Always assure him that taking emotional risks is necessary to gaining social skills and freeing himself from the limiting shyness. However, never push him to do things or activities that he perceives as unendurable.
  • Shy teens tend to drink a lot at parties. Relying on alcohol is their way to decrease shyness. It may relax their social inhibitions, but alcohol treats the symptom rather than the cause. Clarify this point for your shy kid.
  • Direct your child's attention to his body language. Subliminal cues like voice volume, gait and posture convey a strong message to his environment. Show him how to talk more slowly and loudly, to lift his chest, to pull his shoulders down and back and to walk slower in order to convey a message of confidence.
  • Shy teens have excellent imaginations. Advise your teen to use this mind power to envision positive scenarios. If he is about to ask a girl for a date, encourage him to visualize the meeting as a success.
  • Small talk is a great tool to lessen shyness. Embolden your child to talk to anyone he meets in daily life: the postman, the cab driver or the patient sitting next to him in the clinic.

Did You Know That...?

  • Shy teens have a tendency to have narrow, elongated faces relative to their peers.
  • Shy teens tend to suffer more from allergies. Also, their sense of smell is much more developed in comparison with regular teens.
  • Humans are not the only creatures who suffer from shyness. This trait exists among animals such as dogs, sheep, cats and fish.
  • Shyness is a function of geography and culture, as well. A high percentage of Japanese and Taiwanese teens are extremely shy.
  • You can be famous, rich, bold or successful and still be shy. Celebrities like Al Gore, Sting, Barbara Walters, Eleanor Roosevelt and Princess Diana defined themselves as shy.

Pages:  1  2  3  4  


Want to see more?