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Peer Pressure
Teaching Our Children to Be True to Themselves
By Gwen Morrison
"My daughter has been a totally different child," Long says. "Her personality is such that I find her constantly choosing the wrong friends. She tends to be a follower and so I have to be much more aware of what she is doing and with whom."
Long says her daughter has found out the hard way that friends aren't always what they seem. She has been deceived and disappointed over the years with several girls she would have considered friends. Long feels her daughter struggles with self-confidence issues and that is why she tends to choose friends that are not right for her.
"It's almost as though she feels she doesn't deserve a good friend," Long says. "We are constantly talking about self-worth and respect. It's an ongoing thing when they are young and impressionable."
"Keep the lines of communication open," Glasser says. "Your child will be more likely to approach you to discuss challenges and concerns when you remain non-judgmental and respectful of his feelings."
It is our primary role as parents to protect our children. As they grow older, it is often difficult for parents to let go of some of the control we are used to having in their lives. Pre-adolescents need to have the opportunity to make their own choices and will quickly learn what works for them and what doesn't.
"With your support, your child can learn to appreciate his unique qualities," Glasser says. "As [he makes] independent and responsible decisions, he will gradually learn to negotiate adolescent relationships and influences."
If you feel your child is having great difficulty with peer relationships – where it affects self-image, moods and performance in school or in relationships at home – be sure to contact a professional.