- my iParenting
- quick clicks
- preteenagers today articles
- preteenagers today q&a
- teenagers today articles
- teenagers today q&a
- community & groups
- research baby names
- prepare a birth plan
- content channels
- ip channel rss feeds
- read birth stories
- read parenting stories
- recommended books
- e-newsletters
- safety recalls
- ip diaries
- ip store
- mom of the month
- dad of the month
- editor's letter
- letters to the editor
From Our Sponsors
- e-newsletters
- Sign up to receive our free weekly e-newsletters
- award-winning products
The iParenting Media Awards program helps parents find the best products for their families.
The Sky Is Falling!
Helping Preteens Handle Tragedy
By Sue Marquette Poremba
On the evening of September 11, 2001, Nola Van Vugt of Issaquah, Wash., and her preteen daughter, Anna, were driving home. Anna was in her second week at the Seattle Girls School, having a blast and seeing life full of promise. But on this evening of national tragedy, Van Vugt says, "We were driving across Lake Washington, so it was probably a little after 8 p.m. Pacific time, and she said to me, 'It feels like my childhood just came to an end, and nothing will ever be the same again.'"
It was a feeling that most of us had on September 11, but preteenagers may have felt the tragedy's impact the hardest. "Any kind of tragedy shakes the predictability of the world, and preteens are on the cusp of adolescence," says David Fassler, a child and adolescent psychiatrist in Burlington, Vermont. "Tragedy shakes their sense of ability to trust the world around them."
Of course, what happened on 9/11 rocked the entire world. It was a tragedy felt by millions, and while everyone felt the horrors of the day, it may have touched middle school kids a little more poignantly.
"I really believe it was a defining moment for that generation, more than any other," says Van Vugt. "Although it seemed to me that the high school kids were pretty affected by it also, it really pointed up how vulnerable that middle school age is."
Most tragedies that adolescents face are not on the same level as 9/11. It is more likely that the tragedy will be personal, such as the death of a grandparent. To a preteen, who is going through the hormonal and emotional changes that make these years rough to begin with, a tragic event might feel like the sky is falling down around them.