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Home › Articles › General › Too Much Encouragement

Too Much Encouragement

Overzealous Parenting Could Harm Your Child

By Carma Haley Shoemaker

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During a Saturday afternoon baseball game in Belleville, Ohio, 13-year-old Alec Kurdzel takes his turn at the bat. The crowd cheers his name, in hopes that Alec will get a hit and bring at least one of his teammates to home plate. Alec's father, Eric, stands at the fence yelling last-minute instructions before Alec approaches the plate. Alec stands ready, swings, and misses. His father continues to yell instructions for Alec to follow. The next pitch – a hit, but caught by the center fielder. Alec is called "out." His father meets him as he walks off the field to the dugout. Dad doesn't offer condolences, but says, "I thought I taught you better then that. Don't you want to be a winner? Didn't you listen to anything I told you? What kind of a hit was that?" Alec hangs his head and assures his father that he will do better next time.

Thousands of parents exhibit this type of behavior with each new season. We've all seen them, yelling from the stands, running to the field, fighting or arguing with coaches – all on their child's behalf. These parents attempt to teach their children all they can and make them the best players on the team, in the region or even in the state. Parents do want the best for their children, but when do coaching and teaching become overbearing and overzealous?

"Overzealous parents usually start out being supportive of their child's interests," says Dr. Martha Pieper, psychotherapist. "However, these parents will begin to see a talent in their child and will do everything within their power to help develop it and expect the child to do the same. These parents don't mean any harm, they just don't know when to stop."


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