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When Your Child Is Unpopular
Tips to Help You Both Cope
By Pat Dimmig
Some signs tend to be more subtle, but can add up to a potentially serious bout with depression.
Building strong, meaningful relationships can protect your child's mental and emotional well being and soften the blow of cruel remarks. "Having just one or two close friends seems to immunize a child from any lasting effects of social rejection," says Sandy Sheehy, author of "Connecting: The Enduring Power of Female Friendship." "Parents often place too much emphasis on popularity ... Providing the time, space, and transportation for the child to get together with one or two close friends is a far better investment in his or her current and future well being."
Yet to build healthy friendships, your child must first understand the definition of "friend."
"You can help your child define what a true friend should be in several ways," Flynt says. "Be a good role model. Ask what being a good friend means to them. What do they think good friends should do for each other? When there is a disagreement with a friend, ask how things might have gone differently and how things could be resolved. See who is to blame, one party or both?"
If you help your children to build healthy relationships and to recognize their value, they will learn to set their own standards. Popularity is a matter of subjective opinion. Being unpopular at school doesn't mean your child cannot be happy and secure in the love of family and true friends.