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Down the Road
Is Your Daughter Ready for Travel Sports?
By Kelly Burgess
On the other hand, Abby* has been pushed since she was old enough to put on a softball mitt. As a young child she was a very good softball player, and at age 10, she tried out for a local, elite softball travel league and made the under-10 team. The following year she made the under-12 team. Unfortunately, when puberty hit, Abby became awkward and didn't make the under-14 team. It was devastating to Abby, and her father's reaction didn't help.
He pushed her to try out for other teams. She didn't make any of them. He assured her that she was a great athlete, and it was the shortsighted coaches that were at fault. Finally, the father organized his own team made up of other girls in the same situation so that Abby could play, but at the same time the family fell apart. Abby's mother, who told this story on the condition of anonymity for her family, couldn't take the way Abby's father's reaction didn't allow Abby to move on. He had become obsessed with Abby's "career" to the extent of their family's and Abby's emotional health.
"He couldn't accept the fact that Abby turned out to be just an average athlete," says Kathy*, Abby's mom. "Worst of all is that he has Abby convinced she's something she's not, and each rejection just crushes her a little more. She's already having problems with anorexia, and her attitude is so bad toward her school coaches – because her dad has convinced her that he knows best – that she's been virtually blacklisted from all teams, because no one wants to have to deal with her dad. He's the only one she can play for now, and he's the one she shouldn't play for."
Redmer has seen the situation from both sides – both as a father and as a coach. When parents take their child's athletic lives too seriously, it can become a heartbreaking situation. The facts are these, according to Redmer. Prior to puberty, girls and boys are roughly equal in the sports world, both physically and mentally. In fact, girls often have the edge, because they tend to be better coordinated.