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Managing the Media

Limiting Exposure to Adult Issues in Preteen Lives

By Teri Brown

It is very likely that more family arguments have occurred over music than any other topic and this may not be a fight you can win. Remember that parents objected to Elvis and The Beatles just as strongly as you might object to Eminem and 50 Cent. Granted, lyrics are far more sexual and violent than they used to be, so careful monitoring is called for.

"If you object to certain song lyrics, ask your child to tell you what the song is about what the words mean," says Sonna. "Your youngster may not even know or may give them a benign interpretation. If you find the words distressing, you can certainly forbid the song to be played in your presence."

Sonna says that whether you forbid your child to play it behind closed doors or while wearing headphones is up to each family to decide. If you do forbid a song, explain your reason. "In setting limits, parents must accept that assailing their children with lots of 'do's' and 'don'ts' may alienate them," she says. "Children need explanations so they understand which fundamental values certain programs and films are violating. With adolescence on the horizon, children will soon be making their own choices about what to watch, what to listen to, how to speak and how to behave. Parents need to prepare them to make good ones."