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Fighting the Influence
When Friends Lead Astray
By Carma Haley Shoemaker
Negative influences of a child's friends can come without warning. They can be sudden or could progress overtime. Parents should make themselves aware of a child's behavior and habits so when a change occurs, it will be noticed.
"Parents who ask their children where they are going, who they are going with and request a meeting with their child's friends and the friends' parents have already taken the first step," Berkeley says. "This information will give them knowledge – knowledge of their child and their child's friends. It provides a baseline for the parent to use should something 'unusual' or 'out of the ordinary' occur."
Lynn Rexroat of Chillicothe, Ill., uses this method to keep tabs on her children. "My oldest son knows that in order for him to go anywhere with a friend, especially one I haven't met before, that I have to speak with that friend's parent to make sure the arrangements are agreeable with us both," she says. "I don't interrogate them by asking about their private life. I just want to know that the parents of the other child know what the boys are planning to do. I feel by my wanting to know I am protecting my son. He knows I will check, so he doesn't plan anything that can't be confirmed."
When a parent suspects that their child is hanging out with "the wrong crowd," the last thing on their mind should be discipline. Instead, Berkeley says a parent should be more interested in finding out the reasons behind the behaviors and the child's choice to keep company with these types of friends.