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Prayers and Preteens
Defining Spirituality in the Middle Grades
By Jennifer M. Paquette
But Rabbi Black feels it's not just the institutions' responsibility. "Synagogues are not designed for that," he says. "Schools and shuls [synagogues] are too busy; they just can't do it ... they're not equipped; rabbis are overworked and underpaid."
Browder, whose own children are now 16, 13 and 6, says that most kids develop their spiritual beliefs between the ages of 8 and 14. But peer pressure is also hard at work then, making it difficult to broach spiritual subjects. "What's going to happen to the kid who suggests Bible study to his peers?" Browder says.
So who can make the difference in a preteen's maturing relationship with God? Parents. Browder warns that if parents put God last with no time for devotions or prayer and make work and material things more important, kids will adopt the same posture.
"Consistency of religion is an important foundation," Rabbi Black says. He warns that keeping the Sabbath inconsistently and participating in religious rituals half-heartedly is the kind of relationship to God that is exceedingly damaging to kids.
His organization strives to make religion relevant through drop-in centers around North America, teen leaders and regional Shabbatons (weekend conferences) that Rabbi Black calls powerful Jewish weekends. "Kids come from all over," he says. "We eat together. There are songs and programs that help kids identify strongly with the Jewish people."
Though NCSY serves mainly teenagers, Rabbi Black says the pre-Bar and Bat Mitzvah years (Bar Mitzvah for boys takes place at age 13; Bat Mitzvah for girls at 12) are crucial, because so many young Jews drop out after that milestone.