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A Cut Above
The Practice of Self-Mutilation
By Carma Haley Shoemaker
Parents may discard their child's altered behavior as a phase or something that will pass. And the "weirdness" of the behavior might induce a "taboo" effect – parents will often approach the issue timidly.
"Their parents don't even begin to know how to see [the kids] for who they are," says Paul. "So even if the parent tries to go and talk to [the child], they are talking different languages. The parent isn't really getting what the child is truly feeling, what the pressures are, what the fears are, what the stressors are, what the overwhelming feelings are about. These feelings can get so intense as to be unbearable that the child wants to jump out of their skin. A parent doesn't want to hear that. They want to know that their child is normal and that all is well."
Parents should not assume they are the cause of the stress in the child's life. Adolescents experience intense stress in places other than the home, such as school and work. "Although the home environment needs to support what's going on with the child, it's not always that the parents are hypercontrolling or unavailable," says Paul. "It may be that [the parents] don't understand what's going on at school or what's going on with peers or how to help their child."
There are signs parents can watch for if they suspect their adolescent may be practicing self-mutilating behavirs. Unexplained or frequent injuries, wearing jeans, long pants or long sleeves consistently – even in warm or hot weather – exhibiting the want for isolation or "being alone" and the presence of blood stains on the inside of clothing may be clues into a child's self-mutilating behavior.