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Dog Doo To Do

An excerpt from: Hidden Messages: What Our Words and Actions Are Really Telling Our Children

By Elizabeth Pantley

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Kevin put his hand on her shoulder. "Honey, I'm really proud of you for being so conscientious about your homework. . . but are you ever going to pick up that dog doo?"

The Hidden Message
"If you can put up with the drone of my voice, go ahead and feel free to ignore me. I don't plan to take any action about this issue at all."

Think About It
An inescapable part of parenting is getting our children to do many things they'd rather not, like picking up dog doo, taking out trash, cleaning their rooms and finishing homework. When a parent continues to remind, ask, beg, pester, and yes, nag a child about a task, but fails to follow through with any action, the parent actually gives the child an interesting choice: either listen to the nagging, or do the task. The child is free to decide that the minimal pain of listening to a parent beg over and over is a small price to pay for sidestepping the dreaded deed. And children often do, sometimes without realizing it.

All of Kevin's comments to Melody are vague, and without any follow through action on his part he may as well say, "If you could manage to pick up the dog doo sometime before your next birthday,that would be really nice."


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