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Home › Diaries › Shel › June 9, 2006

Shel's Diary Entries

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June 9, 2006

My son is a great kid – don't all mother's think this about their children? I really like him a lot. He's thoughtful – sometimes too thoughtful. He's so smart. He's a wonderful athlete. He's funny. He's emotional. He's just a great kid. Are you sensing a but?

There isn't a but, BUT the closer he gets to the teen years the more complicated he becomes. Aside from being all of those wonderful things, he is also, quiet at times, moody, irrational, overdramatic, sullen, withdrawn and unmotivated – don't all mothers think this about their preteens, too?

Still, I like him. I want so much for him. Above everything – job, success, family, friends – I want him to be happy. I want him to know kindness and to show kindness. I want him to change the world one little, tiny issue at a time, and I want to be able to raise him to accomplish this.

It's no short order. It's probably irrational to some degree. It's utopian. BUT, that's me. And that is where we could have the problems. This life – his life – isn't about me. As my first born, I look to him with all the hope and all the power to dream those big parental dreams. I have to constantly keep myself in check. Who's dream is this? Who wants this? Him or me? I'm working on it... Shel



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