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Expert Q&A

	By Keath Castelloe Low child and adolescent psychologist

My son is 11 years old and is a very balanced (emotionally/intellectually) boy. His only problem is that he still sucks his thumb. What can I do about this?

Talk with your son about your concerns. What are his feelings about his thumb sucking? Is he motivated to stop? How often does he suck his thumb? Where does he suck his thumb – only at home or also at school? What are his peers' reactions to his thumb sucking?

If your son wants to stop, but just hasn't been able to yet, talk with him about setting up a reward system together. Decide on rewards he can earn by reducing and eliminating thumb sucking. Print out a chart that he can hang in his room and sort out ways to document progress towards his goal. He may use check marks or stickers to indicate successful time periods with no thumb sucking.

Celebrate his successes. Give him frequent feedback, warmly praising him whenever you notice he is not sucking his thumb in situations where he used to. Help build his confidence to tackle his thumb sucking.

Focus on the positives. Never punish. Try not to get into a struggle about the behavior. Your son needs to be motivated to stop the behavior. If he is not, the whole issue can turn into a major power struggle. Ultimately, he holds the power about whether or not the thumb goes into his mouth.

Your son may suck his thumb when he is tired, in need of comfort, or simply bored. Try to find other objects that may provide the comfort, relaxation, and security his thumb provides. A soft blanket or special piece of soft fabric, a small pillow, a cuddly stuffed animal – These are all options. If the sucking seems to occur out of boredom, give your son alternative uses for his hands. Toss a fun, tactile Koosh ball to distract from the thumb sucking. Better yet toss two so both his hands are occupied. Engage him in some activity that keeps him busy, away from boredom and his thumb.

Peers are becoming more and more important to this age group, so feedback from peers about thumb sucking can be very powerful. Your dentist or pediatrician can also encourage discontinuing thumb sucking because it can create problems with an overbite once permanent teeth are in.

If your son would like reminders when the behavior occurs, ask if he'd like to try putting a bandage on his thumb to prevent sucking. Gloves, or even a tube sock over the hand, may work for nighttime. Some people have had success with putting a bitter or sour tasting substance on the thumb to discourage sucking, but only do this if your child wants it as a reminder. Though it may be frustrating at times, try to remain upbeat, positive, and encouraging. Ultimately, your son is the one who must make the change happen.

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