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Expert Q&A
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| By Chris Crutcher Author, Licensed Child and Family Therapist | ||
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My 10-year-old is threatening to run away. It has become an almost daily occurrence. He will fight with his siblings (older and younger) until the situation escalates to someone getting hurt or something getting broken, and then he will storm off to his room and pack a bag. He never actually leaves, but I am afraid that one day he will. What can I do to make sure that doesn't happen?
Alice Miller says "All behavior has meaning." When we know the meaning, we can do something about it. I don't know anywhere near enough history here, but I know that sounds like behavior that mirrors a significant difficulty he's having right now. I'd be sure to let him know I would track him down to the ends of the earth if he actually ran away, and what an awful loss that would be to me. I'd also do what I could to stop those confrontations before they got to the place that he's headed for his room and packing. Don't dare him to go ahead or set up any other kind of situation where he has to feel humiliated if he backs down. "Something must be really bothering you. Tell me how I can help. I hate to see you feeling this way." Statements like that let him know you recognize he's feeling something he can't get control of.
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