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Expert Q&A
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| By Sonny Elliott Family Counselor/Author | ||
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My preteen is still wetting the bed. He hides it from me, but I know it is happening. How should I approach him about this, and what can I do?
First, I am assuming you have spoken to the proper medical personnel to ascertain that there is not a physical issue involved here. Assuming that is so, there most likely will be shame involved, (feeling bad about who she/he is) in this matter, or perhaps guilt, (feeling bad about his/her behavior) as well as embarrassment.
What is wanted and needed by your child is compassion, understanding, patience and love. Millions of children have bedwetting going on and the reasons can be placed in many arenas, and who is to say exactly what is so. I would invite you to pick a time, and with lightness approach the child, and it is critical that he/she feels it is safe to share with you how it is for them. You might even let the child know this has happened to you or your spouse as a child and that this behavior actually means nothing.
My experience with children (including two of my four sons while growing up) is they grow out of this typically no later than early teen years, as I myself did!
From a practical standpoint, interact with the child about utilizing absorbent underpants to reduce the soiling, as well as the feelings that go with waking up with the embarrassment of wet sheets, etc. Also, perhaps a rubber undersheet, as these types of measures let the child know you care, you're not upset and you are willing to support him/her.
In other words, this too shall pass!"
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