- my iParenting
- quick clicks
- preteenagers today articles
- preteenagers today q&a
- teenagers today articles
- teenagers today q&a
- community & groups
- research baby names
- prepare a birth plan
- content channels
- ip channel rss feeds
- read birth stories
- read parenting stories
- recommended books
- e-newsletters
- safety recalls
- ip diaries
- ip store
- mom of the month
- dad of the month
- editor's letter
- letters to the editor
From Our Sponsors
- e-newsletters
- Sign up to receive our free weekly e-newsletters
- award-winning products
The iParenting Media Awards program helps parents find the best products for their families.
Expert Q&A
 |  |  |
| By Jenny Lewis, M.D. Pediatrician | ||
 |
How do you calm down your child when she won't quit smart mouthing you and you're a single mother?
It can be extraordinarily irritating when your children are obnoxious and disrespectful to you but the temptation to be obnoxious back should be resisted. Preteenagers are suspended midway between feeling "adult" and powerful/independent and feeling "childlike" and helpless/dependent. Parents should be looking for constructive ways to offer their kids opportunities to make more of their own decisions and take more responsibility.
When faced with a child who is badmouthing you, try not to descend to their level. Rather, calmly say that their behavior/words are an inappropriate way of talking to you and that you do not intend discussing the subject at hand until they can be more respectful. Refusing to engage in a slanging match usually shortens the interaction. If you consider that there needs to be consequences for this type of behavior you need to choose a non confrontational time to explain to your child exactly what type of verbalizing you intend punishing him/her for (e.g.. swearing at you) and carry through with your threat if it happens. Bear in mind that casual off-hand remarks and being argumentative are pretty universal behaviors in this age.
In general try to be respectful when talking to your children and they are more likely to be respectful back.
Related Expert Q&A
- I have a 9-year-old boy who has exhibited some bully behavior on the bus. What should we do about the behaviors?
- What discipline measures can I take to correct a 12-year-old child's bullying behavior towards his younger siblings?
- My 11-year-old is very defiant -- what should I do?
- How can I deal with my anger toward my son's behavior?
- My l0-year-old granddaughter's life lacks discipline when she is at her mother's house. Is it possible that this amounts to child abuse or at least neglect?
More Answers by this Expert
- How can I help my son have a relationship with my ex-husband?
- Is my child wetting the bed just to get attention?
- Since my divorce, my 8-year-old has been wetting the bed. Any ideas on how to handle this?
- Our family's best friends are moving across the country. How can I help my kids cope?
- My ex-wife and I have started seeing each other again. Should we tell the children?