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Expert Q&A
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| By Kate Cohen-Posey Therapist | ||
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My daughter feels like she has no friends. Any advice?
My daughter started the sixth grade this year at a Catholic school. I picked her up after the first day, and she was extremely disappointed. She feels like she has no friends, and I can't help but feel the same way she does. She tried to talk to one girl, and the girl said to her that she needed to find a friend. Last year toward the end of the year, she came home upset and said that her friends were ignoring her. I guess my concern is that it is being carried over into the sixth grade now. She spent all summer pretty much alone. I feel so bad for her because kids can be so mean. Any advice?
Expecting to make friends on the first day of school might be a bit high. I would certainly give it a few weeks and even tell her not to expect to make friends until being in class a month. If she is still having difficulties by that time, you might get feedback from her teacher(s) on what they notice about her interaction with others. Encourage your daughter to look for other children who need friends rather than trying to get into a particular group.
Some young people are more mature than others their age or they may be lacking social skills. Becoming involved in school actives or classes outside school like dance, martial arts, community theater and youth groups can create opportunities to learn social skills and build common interests with others.
As a parent, I totally understand how you hurt for your daughter, but help her remember that many very successful people (like Bill Gates) were total loners in school. Some people are late bloomers. If she truly wants friends, she will have them at some time in her life. In the mean time, reinforce her for what she is good at doing.
Kate Cohen-Posey
Author: How to Handle Bullies, Teasers and Other Meanies.
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