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Expert Q&A

	By Jennifer Brout-Lynn psychologist

How can a 10-year-old girl, a model daughter and A-student, turn into a rebellious, defiant, disobedient girl? In the last few months, my sweet, well-tempered 10-year-daughter has changed dramatically. Her room was spotless, well organized. Now it is a complete mess. She refuses to clean it. She gets upset whenever we ask her to help with chores in the house. And today for the first time, we received a call from her teacher giving us a very bad report. She is not doing homework. She talks all the time during class. She gets upset when asked to do something and is fighting with a fellow boy student. This is completely new to us regarding her. Our problems have always been with my oldest son who is 13 and has ADD. Please help me. I don't know what to do. We have tried to talk to her but her only answer is "I don't know" or she keeps quiet.

When there is such an extreme and sudden change regarding a child's personality and mood, it is smart to be concerned. This does not mean that as a parent you should over-worry. However, you are right in wanting to investigate the causes underlying this change. Certainly, since girls are maturing earlier, she may be experiencing hormonal shifts that will soon lead to her menstrual cycle beginning. In addition, this may be occurring with some of her friends, and she may suddenly find herself in a social world that is difficult to mediate. Regardless, since she is only 10 and has demonstrated these sudden changes it is a good idea to consult a professional. I would start by taking her to her pediatrician who will rule out anything hormonally or otherwise medically related. If she is experiencing changes due to her menstrual cycle then it is very important to discuss this with her, or have her pediatrician do so. If the pediatrician determines that there is no underlying medical reason for your daughter's mood changes than certainly you should bring her to a therapist who specializes in child, adolescent and family therapy. The therapist can help assess what is going on with her and work out a game plan for both supportive counseling and family work.

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