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Expert Q&A
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| By Susan Bartell Licensed Psychologist | ||
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How can I maintain a strong bond with my daughter?
The very best way to maintain a strong bond with your daughter is to listen a lot and be as non-judgmental as possible in the suggestions and advice you give. Preadolescence is a tough time – it is when girls are just beginning to move away from parents as their main source of advice and support and are beginning to turn more to peers. It can make you feel a bit left out or even as if your bond with her is weakening.This can lead to you wanting to hold on tightly by giving lots of advice, having strong opinions and even being critical of her peers who you (perhaps subconsciously) begin to see a little as the enemy – because they're taking her away from you. Instead, the best way to maintain a strong bond is to join her in her new world. Be enthusiastic about her friends, show interest in her new interests – even if talking about clothing, TV shows, and the drama of her social world is less than thrilling to you. Also, stay involved in her school life – what she's studying, how her grades are, whether she likes her teachers. When she feels that you are interested in her life, she will want to stay close to you because the hallmark of the preteen and early teen years is the push and pull between home and friends. Ultimately, if you haven't forced her to choose, she'll always choose home in the end!
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