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Expert Q&A

 

By Chris Crutcher
Author, Licensed Child and Family Therapist

How can I stay close with my daughter as she enters puberty?

To a great degree by letting her go some. I don't mean loosening the reins too much, but letting her be silly, moody, etc. I always tell the parents of preteens and teens to be ready 90 percent of the time, and expect them about 5 percent of the time. You make yourself available. You take the heat when they roll their eyes. You beat them to the punch, calling yourself antiquated before they get the chance. Don't make a big deal about language and clothes and other "style" kinds of things. Roll with some punches. Come down hard on the dangerous things – drugs, etc. Let them know those are the kinds of things where you play straight out Momma or Papa Bear. "I'd rather have you hate me and safe than love me and hurt."

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