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Expert Q&A

	By Elbert Q. Blakely, Ph.D., C.B.A. Psychologist

I have a 12-year-old girl who trashes her room. She does not want to keep it clean. I loose my cool and yell at her sometimes. I do not know what to do. Any advice?

I suggest a "behavior contract" for your daughter. Such a contract is an agreement between you and your daughter that specifies what is expected of both of you. To start the process, sit down with your daughter and spell out exactly what she is to do, and when it is to be done. Putting it in writing might be an advantage. Then, have your daughter talk about the kinds of things, or rewards, that she enjoys doing. It could be talking on the phone, spending time with her friends, or shopping. When you have both the room-cleaning schedule and the rewards on paper, set up a "contingency." For example, you might say that if the room is cleaned on Monday after school, then she may go out shopping on Monday evening. Or, if the room is cleaned on MWF, then she may have her friends over on Friday night.

At this stage of the contract, you should decide how to "program for success." You should set a cleaning schedule that she will probably be able to complete. Don't make it too difficult or involved. In the initial stages, the child should frequently enjoy success. Then, you can gradually add more responsibilities until there is a full schedule in place. You also should decide how immediate the rewards are. For a 12 year old, you might consider using an immediate reward after cleaning tasks are performed for the day.

When the contract is implemented, collect some data! For example, you could look at how many cleaning tasks are completed each day or each week. Then, if the data show that the contract is not working, re-negotiate the contract with your daughter. Maybe the rewards are not immediate enough, or maybe there are too many cleaning tasks in the initial stage of the contract. Make the necessary adjustments. If the contract is working, consider using a bonus. For example, you could provide a bonus outing to the mall for 3 weeks of following the cleaning schedule and earning all of the immediate rewards.

Lastly, have the contract do the work for you. If your daughter does not clean her room, try not to yell at her. Just withhold the scheduled reward. Moreover, provide lots of praise and attention when she is cleaning her room. Most importantly, have your daughter be involved in the development of the contract. The young lady should feel that she has a stake in the contract, and that she has some control over the specifics.

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