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Expert Q&A
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| By Chris Crutcher Author, Licensed Child and Family Therapist | ||
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I have a daughter who is now in fourth grade. She will be 10 in November. My problem is that we just moved this summer. We didn't move out of town – just across – and that put her in a new school district. Now she is telling me that she hates it, and she cries every day. I have tried everything, but she has only been in school for six days. She is now calling me at work, crying and saying how she loved school, but now she hates school and life.
I am concerned because she has always loved school and has done so well – and has always loved life! She has never had a problem meeting friends, but I feel that she is refusing to try. I have tried talking to her. I put her in band and volleyball, and basketball is going to start here soon. These are the things that she wanted to do, also. Please, if you have any advice, please let me know. I miss my bright and cheerful daughter, and I hate to see her like this, because I feel like I can't help her and like she won't let me. Please, any advice?
It may be one of those things that die with time. If in fact she makes friends and loves school, she will again. There may be something going on there beyond just moving that is driving this behavior. I'd use all my communication skills to see if that's so. Don't fight with her when she tells you how bad she feels. Just listen and tell her it must be awful to feel that bad, that if you had a choice of schools, you'd let her make it.
The more you don't fight with her, but join her in acknowledging her feelings, the better she will see that it's something she'll have to solve. If you keep fighting with her about her feelings, she'll likely feel compelled to convince you. Good luck."
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