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Expert Q & A

Top : General : How do I get my two daughters, ages 11 and 7, to stop arguing and physically fighting and then calling me to referee every situation?

Preteenagers Today's Health Advisory Panel Answers:
How do I get my two daughters, ages 11 and 7, to stop arguing and physically fighting and then calling me to referee every situation?
By Chris Crutcher
Author
Licensed Child and Family Therapist
 		Chris Crutcher

Question:


How do I get my two daughters, ages 11 and 7, to stop arguing and physically fighting and then calling me to referee every situation? At times, it's hard to tell who is telling the truth or the real origin of a fight.

Answer:


To answer your question: Wait seven years. As for who's telling the truth, if you can tell, you should write a book and make a whole bunch of money. Then, you can send them both to boarding school.

Most of the time, they are both telling the truth – through their own points of view. Give up on knowing the truth, and get into the business of letting them negotiate with each other. Set up a rule of "Nobody gets hurt," and do the negotiations from there. You might also want to keep in mind that getting you to referee is another way of getting you involved.

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