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Expert Q & A

Top : Friendships : My daughter's best friend has started to "sabotage" her things. Is this normal?

Preteenagers Today's Health Advisory Panel Answers:
My daughter's best friend has started to "sabotage" her things. Is this normal?
By Chris Crutcher
Author
Licensed Child and Family Therapist
 		Chris Crutcher

Question:


My daughter's best friend has started to "sabotage" her things. For instance, she talked my daughter into cutting off the hair of two of her favorite My Scene ™ dolls. She also took the colored chalk of her new chalkboard and completely colored over the entire board, which was a huge mess for my daughter to clean up. Is this a normal thing for a girl of 11 to do to a friend, and is it because she is jealous of her in some way?

Answer:


Actually, there's probably not enough information there for me to say whether or not it's jealousy; I will say whether it's normal or not – it's common. This is a good time for your daughter to learn to stand up for herself. Every time the other girl runs the "sabotage" and your daughter has a big mess to clean up or has ruined something that can't be fixed, you may have the opportunity to go over with her how to keep the other girl from getting the best of her. She might also learn to let the other girl know that the friendship is at stake.

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